An Elegy that I least expect to do

Pain of Loss

I never thought I’d experience it this young,

I was never prepared that that day would come

When God has to get you from us,

In that unexpected moment and place away from us.

I gave you that last hug,

That I never knew it was the last time

I’d see you breathing and smile,

And bid the last goodbye.

I’m longing the days when you’re here,

Seeing you smiling like everything is okay.

Now I realized you were so strong,

That you never showed the weakest side of you.

I dreamt of you almost every night,

That when I wake up I find myself crying,

I wonder when it will be,

That I’d smile when I see you smiling.

I envy people, who have their father beside,

That someone would answer when they say “papa” or “dad”,

When I call for your name, I hear no one

That it makes me realize, you’re already gone.

I miss the times when you call me “anak”,

And you stand in front my room and knock,

You always check me and ask if everything’s okay

Though you’re the one who’s not really okay.

I cannot truly accept

That up to now you’re gone,

You were part of my everyday life,

But now I’m missing one.

Now that you’re up there,

I won’t  be selfish to ask you back

Coz I know you’re happy

That you’re now free from cancer.

I wish the wind will blow my message to you…

I love you and I’m really missing you, Papa.