Non-fiction: Feeling of getting old

          We cannot hide from the fact that we'll going to reach that age, when our hair turns white, when the face gets wrinkles, when the bone gets weak, when we ourselves get weak too.

When I get to that age, how would I feel?

          It is in the old age when you have to face the last years of life. It is in this stage when you feel your capabilities gets down. It is in this time when you can't picture doing the same stuffs you had done from the past.

          I was inspired to do this article, when my grandmother asked me to cut her nails for her. Her hair turned white, wrinkles on the face, walks and talks slowly and can not clearly recognize or face from a far.

          She has six children, three are alive and the other three are dead, including my father. She lives with us, so we as her grandchildren, takes good care of her. She can still take a bath alone, eat alone, carry her bag alone and go to the doctor without too much assistance.

          But what I really see in her situation is the fact that her three children are not with her to repay the things she gave her children when they were young. When her grandchildren are out, she's alone, which makes me sad and think in a way. I ask myself a question, "When I get old, will I experience it too?".

          When I get home and she's alone, she's lying in her bed and put herself to sleep. I am afraid that when I get old, I'd feel alone. Is this the feeling when we get old and our husband died? That forever until our last breath, our children will be away from us and we'd stick with our grandchildren.

          When everybody is busy at home, she eats alone when she feels hungry. Her food is readily served for her, she only needs to sit and chew the food. I again ask myself a question, "When I get old, will I be eating alone when everybody is busy?"

          A moment also when I see her alone is when every family member will be going out, for example, in the mall, she'll be the one looking after the house and going to open the door when we get  back. I asked myself, "When I get old, will I be doing those things also?"

          A situation I observe when she talks to her children is that, they shout at her and acts like she is not their mother. When my grandma ask a simple question, they apply sarcasm. Then I asked myself again, "When I get old, will my children be shouting at me again like their slave?"

          When my grandmother don't seem to help in the house, I asked myself, "When I get old, will they look at me like an invisible person?"

          But one thing I notice is when her grandchildren and great grand children do anything she ask. I asked myself again, "When I get old, will my grandchildren be doing this to me?"

          I'm still 20 but at this young, seeing the situation... I'm afraid to get old.